Sheik's True Identity
by The Legend of Rune Factory
Summary: Since Ganondorf was killed, Link's days had been boring. No monsters to fight, no dungeons to blaze, and no side-quests to complete. Our hero decides to spend the afternoon with his friend, Sheik. One thing leads to another, and, well...


**I'm back in the LoZ section for a temporary time! I've been away in Rune Factory land, sorry. But I'm back, and with a lovely new humour fic as my invitation! This is based/inspired by a hilarious Zelda flash parody, "Sheik Be A Woman". I've seen it so many times... I highly recommend it. But to continue onto the story, I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

'Twas a calm spring day in the country of Hyrule. For once (to Link's delight), no monstrosity came to endanger the people and capture the princess. The sun was shining at the perfect angle so that it warmed his skin and wouldn't become a nuisance in his eyes. A light, balmy wind played with his hair. Birds were singing, the grass was bending obediently under his boots, and Navi was asleep under his hat—though, he half-wished for her company, just for someone to talk to.

To his amazement at his wondrous luck, the next tree he passed under in the Lost Woods (which he ever rarely got lost in) held a Sheikah. Link grinned upward. "Hey Sheik! How's it hanging?" He chuckled at his wit.

Sheik was suspended from a branch upside-down, knees curled around it. "Hello, Hero." Twisting upward to sit upon the limb, the Sheikah jumping down to stand in front of the green-clad young man. "Nothing much has happened. How is it for you?"

"I'm kinda bored, actually. Want to go to Hyrule Field and check things out there?"

"Yes, I wouldn't mind that. Lead the way." Sheik gestured toward the path.

Link led the Sheikah out of the Lost Woods and through the Kokiri village. Soon the whole of Hyrule Field opened before them. He peered around for a moment. "I don't see anything out of the ordinary…"

"Vanquishing Ganondorf has, consequently, exterminated all monsters or threats to Hyrule. You should be happy; no more questing."

"Yeah, but it makes for really boring days, too." He sighed heavily.

Sheik placed a hand on his shoulder. "Well, what now?"

Link thought a moment. "Hmm… Archery?"

"You may have fun with that; I'll watch."

"At least help me set up a target!"

Together, they soon had a makeshift target formed from grasses, weeds, short yet sturdy tree limbs, and some spare rope from Link's pockets. As the Hero of Time readied his bow, Sheik went to sit upon a boulder to tune the lyre used to teach ocarina melodies to Link.

Navi jolted awake as the sound of a dull thud reached her fairy ears. Her first thought was, _Link is getting attacked and I'm not out there!_ She zoomed out from under his hat, causing it to nearly fall off. Fortunately, Link's pointed ears kept it on. He adjusted it calmly before fitting another arrow on the bowstring.

"What's going on, Link? Are we being attacked?" Navi shouted, flying around frantically.

"No. I'm just practicing my archery skills." With that said, he sent another arrow into the centre of the target.

The little blue navigator fairy calmed down by a large amount. "Oh…" She flitted over to where Sheik was sitting. "What are you doing?"

"Tuning my lyre." The Hylian ninja strained to hear the vibrations coming from the instrument, then loosened or tightened a string.

Navi flew back to Link, noticing that Sheik wished to be alone. She sat on the Hero's shoulder. Then a high-pitched melody caught her ears. "Hey Link," She whispered.

"Uh-huh?" Link let another arrow fly.

"Listen."

He stopped. The same melody floated over to him. "Is that…Sheik?"

"I think so."

Sheik was humming as the lyre was slowly tuned. After a clearance of the throat the humming was in a lower register, but gradually climbed to soprano. The most odd of all was that the tune was Zelda's Lullaby.

Link coughed to get the Sheikah's attention. "Hey, are you making that noise?"

"What noise?" was the mumbled answer.

"The humming noise."

"No."

Satisfied but wary, Link turned back to his bow. As he was about to release the string, a sharp twang from the background distracted him and the arrow soared clean over the target. He turned around in amusement and slight anger. "Snap a string?"

"No! I broke a nail, darn it!" Sheik held up the index finger of the right hand. There was a decently sized chip out of the nail.

"Oh… I-I see…" There was a somewhat scared expression on the young hero's face. He slowly fitted another arrow and aimed carefully, trying to put what just happened out of his mind.

Unfortunately, his shot was messed with again as Navi rammed into his head. "Link!" She hissed. "Look what Sheik's doing!"

Link turned on her, preparing to yell, but instead the words caught in his throat as he saw the oddity before him.

"Is that…nail polish?"

"Yes…"

Sheik admired the work. "It's the exact shade to match my eyes!" Then there was a high-pitched, girlish giggle that issued from the Sheikah's throat.

Link was thoroughly disturbed at this point. He whispered to Navi, "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd seriously think that Sheik was a girl."

"Hm… You're right. You know there's only one way to find out."

"You don't mean-?"

"Oh yeah."

With a deep breath, Link walked up to Sheik. He steeled his nerves. "Hey Sheik."

"Yeah?" Scarlet eyes met sapphire blue ones.

He took that opportunity to take hold of the eye pattern on the Sheikah's top and tug away the cloth. A splitting scream scraped against his eardrums. He winced before opening his eyes and feeling his face turn bright red. "Whoa! H-hi, Zelda!"

It was true; Zelda sat before him. She had her arms crossed tightly over her chest. An angry look was plastered across her face and her eyes bore into his soul with the intent of death. "Link…" She warned.

"I didn't know it was you under all that! Wow, this is… This is so weird. So you were the one who helped me along? And- Hey, what are you doing with that sword? Put that down!"

Zelda held her Sheikah blade tightly in her hand. "You'd better run, because I'm gonna destroy you, Link!" She charged forward, narrowly missing Link's ear.

He sprinted in the opposite direction, _away_ from the psychopath with the weapon. Navi hovered nearby. "This is gold!" She squealed in happiness. "I wonder what she'll do to him once she catches up to him…?"

"Zelda, it was an accident! Please!" Link was begging for mercy as he ran.

"I don't want to hear it!" She quickly whipped out some needles and threw them at him. He cried out in pain as they hit his back.

"Come on!" He whined.

She put on a burst of speed. "Never!"

Navi winced as Zelda tackled him to the ground. Then the princess proceeded to cut his clothes to ribbons, "accidentally" slicing his skin as well (shallowly, of course; even in fury she knew she couldn't cripple the savior of her country in case they needed him again). After she was done, she threw a deku nut to the ground and was gone in a flash back to Hyrule Castle.

"Hey Link." The fairy flew up to the moaning boy.

"What?"

"You might want to get a new shirt."

"Shut up, Navi…"

* * *

**Ta-da! I hope you enjoyed reading it just as much as I did writing it. But wow, it was so hard not saying Sheik's gender! Oh well. I think it turned out to be a good story besides.**

**Review please~!**

**-LoRF**


End file.
